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Who am I?Lady Jane Grey reborn, of course. Well, no, actually I am not, nor would I want to be. I don't even really believe in reincarnation, though if there really is such a thing, who knows? I might actually really be Lady Jane Grey born again. Now wouldn't that be funny? The purest of irony, when something said as an impossible joke turns out to be true. Everything in this journal says a little about who I am. Here are some tidbits. My name is
Lara. Lara was a nickname for one of the characters
in I was born in Seattle in 1978. My brother was born two years later. I have lived most of my life in Portland, Oregon. I am a vegetarian. Always have been, my parents raised me that way. People find it hard to believe that I have never eaten meat. Oh, except for that one bite of a tunafish sandwich when I was three years old because I was really hungry and there was nothing else at the day care. It was yucky, I spit it out. I am five feet four inches. I weigh a bit more than I like, but just a little bit. Generally between 130 and 135 lbs. I think that 125 would be perfect for me, I have small bones. I have green eyes and brown hair. I always want to write blonde instead of brown, when I was a child my hair was the color of cornsilk. It darkened as I grew older, but it has really only been since I was seventeen or so that it has actually been a shade of brown all year long. I still have trouble thinking of myself as anything but a blonde. My favorite food is strawberries. Not just any strawberries, but summer strawberries fresh from the garden. Pure heaven. I have had two moles removed because my doctor thought they looked suspicious. One on my upper right arm, another on my right thigh. I have very pale skin, hence the worry about skin cancer. I try to stay out of the sun. I have a horse. I live with my
parents. I can't pay for both the horse's board and
my own rent. Its really not bad.
I am, once again, a student. I took some time off. I think I am a sophomore, but I don't really feel any desire to add up my credits and see for sure. If I had done better in the past and had not taken time off, I would be getting my bachelors degree in the spring. I have a cat as well as the horse. My parents have another cat and a dog. My boyfriend, Myles, is a Canadian. He lives about a fifteen hour drive away. We don't see much of each other, but he is wonderful and we have been together since February of 1998. I read way to much. It is a serious addiction. Gets in the way of work, my schoolwork, sleep, eating, my social life, and pretty much everything. Once I start a book I can't put it down, often even if it is one that I have read before. I am trying to quite reading, at least while I am in school. I have failed classes before because of this problem, and I don't want to do it again. I can't find a twelve step program for this kind of addiction. Perhaps I should start one. I can't decide on a favorite author, but the author I have been reading the most lately (before I quit, that is) is Kurt Vonnegut. Before that it was Ursula Leguin, but I have read everything that she has written (that I can find, anyway) far too many times. Both make me really think and effect me in profound ways. I like that. I don't like television. But I do watch it on occasion. I have a digital camera and I like to use it. I want to be a vegan (no dairy, vegetarian just means no meat) but can not seem to give up cheese. I sometimes think that I want to have a baby. But if my period is half an hour late I freak out and know that I am not ready yet, what was I thinking. Fortunately never been anything but a false alarm. I AM careful, after all. I love the forest. I love the beach and the night sky. I love storms, and I love listening to the rain. It is a good thing that I do love the rain. Living in Portland I certainly see enough of it. I keep changing my major. I started with biology, then computer science, then I thought I would be completely different and major in English or history, now I am thinking Physics. We shall see. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I do have some ideas about what I don't want to do with it. I mentioned above that I love the beach. I don't mean the sand beaches where people lie out in the sun and play volleyball. I can take or leave those beaches. I love the rock beaches, with their dangerous tides and crashing waves. I love the solitude generally found on those beaches, the feeling that I am all alone with nature. And I love the tidepools that form among the rocks. I have spent many a happy hour staring at sea anenomes and looking for starfish. I am not overly fond of chocolate. Hate dark chocolate. I love peppermint ice cream, which I can only find around Christmas time, but by the end of the holliday's I am usually pretty sick of it. I am agnostic. Raised that way. I don't like hot weather. I pick scabs. Showers. Occasionally bubble baths. Hate to go to bed at night, hate to get up in the morning. |
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Dr. Zhivago, her real
name was Larisa. My mother has always been quick to
say that she did not actually name me after the character
(an adulteress), but because she loved Lara's theme, a
song from the movie Dr. Zhivago that played on the radio
all the time shortly before I was born. When I was
old enough I read Dr. Zhivago (have never seen the movie)
and ever since then Larisa has been kind of an alter ego
with me, a different side of myself. I use the name for
myself in most of my daydreams, it helps me keep the
dream world separate from reality. I do dream a
little too much, perhaps. I also use the name
online in chatrooms and such, just because I like
to.